Jo Daley – One of the Most Incredible People I Ever Met.

The world has lost one of the most incredible people I ever met.
From her hilariously dirty sense of humour, her no filter vocabulary, her beautiful caring and loving nature to just being Jo, she was truly an amazing human being.

An amazing human being who was taken much, much too soon from this world.
A woman who still had so much to give.
All I can think of is,
“Why Jo?”
“Why Cancer?”
“Why did it happen so soon?”
“Why is it always the good people?”
But “Why Jo?” is my biggest question….
And my heart is breaking. It’s breaking because I can’t believe she’s gone, I don’t want to believe it.
But most of all, its breaking for her family.
Her mother and her sister who are two of the strongest women I’ve ever met.
Her incredibly brave daughter who in absolutely no way, ever deserved to go through something like this.
And her partner who I only ever met once or twice, but only ever heard good things about.
She absolutely did not deserve this and neither did any of her family.

I feel so much more heartache than I ever expected to feel.
When I think about it, I barely knew Jo.
I don’t know her favourite colour, I don’t know her favourite music, I don’t know if she has a middle name, I don’t even know what date her birthday is!
Yet, I feel so incredibly sad because of all the things I do know.
Like her kind heart, her love of wine, her ridiculously funny sense of humour and quick wit.
I know the love she had for her family and the caring, selfless personality she had to help out so many people the way she did.

Losing someone is never easy, but losing someone who was such a wonderful person and losing her in such a painful way, I have absolutely no idea what her family must be going through.
I don’t want to pretend like I could imagine it, because in all honesty, nobody wants to imagine what it would be like to lose someone they loved so dearly.

I just want you, Kat, Marg, Gemma & Mark, to know, that my thoughts truly are with you.

Rest In Peace to such a beautiful woman.

I’m Not What I’ve Done, I’m What I’ve Overcome

I can already feel it. After only 4 days of not having my medication, I can already feel it taking over me again.

My thoughts are darkening in the sense that it’s getting harder and harder to find the positives throughout my day.

I’m getting anxious again and want to retreat back to the safety of my own house, my own room, my own bed. But I don’t, or more to the point; I can’t.

As hard as it is, I take a deep breath and push through the shopping centre with my son in the trolley, walking as quickly as I can and making as little eye contact as possible so as not to create more opportunity for conversation where I then need to use even more of my very little strength left to force a polite smile and brief small talk in reply.

The second I get back into my car it’s like a small weight has been lifted, like I’ve had a jumper on that’s too tight and was restricting my breathing, has been taken off, though I still can’t relax. Not even once I get home, because there’s still so much to do and I have no idea how I’m going to get it done before its time to start the night time routine of getting dinner and bath time done.

And that’s when my frustration sets in because this illness is so damn controlling that it even stops me from enjoying my own son to the full extent that we both deserve!

I run out of patience faster, I’m tired and have no energy to take him outside and play with him, the thought of going outside is mildly frightening and exhausting at the same time. I find myself forcing a smile even though I so badly want to be completely there and enjoying my beautiful son, this stupid illness stops me.

It holds me back. It takes my energy, my feelings, my positivity, it takes everything, and all it leaves is this shell of what’s supposed to be me and all of these horrible, negative, depressing thoughts swirling around.

My partner comes into the room on the one day it all becomes too much and I need to retreat even from my own partner and asks if I’m okay, to which I reply with “yeah, I’m just in a bad mood but I don’t know why. I can’t get out of it.”

He asks me: “Babe, how long has it been since you had your medication?”

And then it clicks! I had been forgetting to take them each morning! That is why I feel like this. That is why my thoughts are clouded with negativity, my stomach is tight with anxiety and my headaches are back. I have forgotten my tablets each morning for the last four days.

Just four days, that’s all it took.

My partner goes and gets me my tablets and some water and says “here you go.” And with a comforting kiss on the forehead, walks out and closes the door, knowing all too well that as much as he wants to make me feel better, he can’t.

He just needs to leave me be until I decide I am comfortable enough to come out again, to face not even the world, but just my own lounge room.

I have always said to anyone I have spoken to about any kind of illness, whether it be mental or physical, “don’t be ashamed of needing a medicine to help you be the real you!”

Although, I still believe this, and I’m certainly not ashamed of the fact that I need medication, it’s still unexpectedly frustrating.

The idea that I can’t be the true me that I want to be unless I have a tablet each morning is not overly upsetting until I have times like this where I have forgotten to take them and I so quickly spiral backwards into this sad, scared, anxious version of myself.

I’m sure there’s not many of you out there who know that I have depression, and for those of you who do, this may just be a little more insight into how I feel on my “bad days”.

But I just want to clear something up before I finish this off.

The reason I don’t go boasting (I use the term “boasting” very lightly) about having depression is not because I am embarrassed or ashamed about it, because let me tell you right now, I’m not!

If anything, I am proud, because no matter how many times I’ve gone in and out of depression and no matter how tough it’s been, I still always come out on top. It may have taken me a while some times and it may still currently be a work in progress, but I do it. I get out of bed everyday and I function. Whether I am actually present or just on auto-pilot, generally only I or my closest friends and family can tell, but I am still here.

It is purely because, I don’t want to put others in the position of hearing that I have depression and then feeling incredibly awkward because they don’t know what to say, or don’t want to say the wrong thing.

To be honest, me personally, unless you tell me there’s no such thing as depression and it’s all in my head, then there’s really not much you can say that’s “wrong”.
However; do not take this as advice for anyone who opens up to you about their depression and/or anxiety. Because every person is different in their way of thinking.

Depression is not contagious.

It is a mental illness which is incredibly hard to deal with, incredibly hard to beat and especially hard to explain to others who have never experienced it.

                        “Depression is a flaw in chemistry, not in character.” ~ Unknown.

<3 Happy Birthday <3

I was going to start this with the whole “I remember the day you were born” sentence. Then I realised, I actually don’t..hahaha.

I was way too young when you were born to be able to remember that day, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less.

To be honest, you’ve always been like a sister to me, our families are so close and that is such a gift.
I can’t imagine what our lives would be like without you, you bring such a joy and happiness to everyone’s lives that’s indescribable.
You always manage to find a positive in any situation, no matter what it is, even if you’re feeling down yourself, you will put your feelings aside to help someone else feel better.
You are such a true, honest and selfless person and you know exactly how to have fun that’s for sure, you seem to have a pretty much perfect balance of work and fun, and that isn’t easy, but with you it looks effortless.
I know for a fact that I speak for anyone in your life when I say “You make our world a brighter place”.

I remember when it used to be so fun and exciting to have a sleep over at your place. We would be bugging my Mum; “Please please pleeeeeaase can I sleep over with Weezy??” And we’d get the whole roll of the eyes and the “Well did you ask Aunty Netty if that’s alright?” But when Mum said that, I always knew it was going to be a yes! Haha.

Those were the days…playing schools, I was always the teacher and would write sums on your chalk board and you’d have to try and work it out, and then having Paige follow us around and playing as well.

Playing the snowboarding game on the sony and trying to beat each other.

Running around the house and being yelled at by Uncle Mark because we were making the fish tank rock and were scaring the fish! Hahaha..

When we’d play out the back and be jumping on the trampoline. I remember always having the yummiest cheesy pasta for dinner with a fried rice too.

Swinging from the huge tree in the backyard and eventually getting game enough to go up to the next one. Uncle Mark would give us a push and we’d go so fast! I reckon I’d probably break the branch now if I did it again..Hahaha!

How about the time at the dining table when we were eating and you made me laugh and I spat my entire mouthful of chocolate milk out, all over the table! And then couldn’t walk back into the dining room for like 10 more minutes because I just kept laughing! Hahaha we’ll never forget that day, ever!

I know you’ll remember this, because you’re always the one who brings it up and makes me feel bad again! The time we were staying in Dubbo, playing around in the kitchen and I was mucking around, pretending to hit you and I fully punched you in the nose!! Haaahahaha! I actually laugh every time I remember this day!

Aaand now I get to embarrass you by reminding you of the time you LOST MY BIKINI IN BALI!!! Telling me the story and only realising to late that it was my bikini and having to sheepishly admit that it was my favourite bikini that you bought me in the first place and I made you promise that you wouldn’t lose it! P.s I’m still waiting for that new one by the way 😉

I could actually go on for hours with all of the memories we have together, but I’m not going to, I need to save some for your 21st 😉 Hehe!

I feel so proud and lucky to know that I have some of my most treasured memories of my life with you and to know that we have a lifetime left to create more memories together puts a smile on my dile.

You are a one in a million

❤ Love You ❤

Healthy Choc Pops for Kids!

I’ve subscribed to a blog called “Paging Fun Mums” and it is brilliant! They have loads of ideas daily for all sorts of different things that any Mum would need or want for their kids.

A few days ago I saw one of their e-mails and decided to actually try it. I really need to get myself and my family back into healthy(er) eating habits so I thought I’d start with a nice easy one for my little man.

They’re called Healthy Choc Pops and are seriously one of the easiest things I’ve evermade! I made them yesterday, and Kovati had them after his dinner and couldn’t get enough!

This is the picture that caught my attention:

To make them, you’ll need:

1 cup milk

1 cup water

1/2 cup honey (I am going to try it with a little less honey next time, as it was very sweet)

1/4 cup cocoa

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp butter (unsalted) – (this makes it nice & creamy)

Ice block containers (I don’t have any ice block containers so I just used an ice cube tray and then poured the left over into a normal container)

Step 1

Place all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat

Step 2

Cook and stir until butter is melted – this will take about 5 mins

Step 3

Remove from the heat and let it sit for 15-20 mins

Step 4

Pour your mixture into your ice block containers – I poured mine into a jug first to make pouring into the ice cube tray easier.

Step 5

Pop into the freezer for 4-5 hours or overnight

Step 6

Munch away! The kids will LOVE it!

Go to http://www.pagingfunmums.com for tonnes of other ideas! I love them!

This is how mine looked. Slightly less visually pleasing, but still tastes delish!

The Best Day so Far!

Today, Monday (12.01.15), we FINALLY went snorkelling!!! Yaaayyyyy!
Like I said, I’ve been a couple of times on the reef behind the house, but today we went to a different place, still close to home, but a different spot.
I have to admit, snorkelling is always a little underwhelming when you think about seeing the coral and how colourful it’s supposed to be, then when you actually go down there it’s all white because it’s either covered in sand, or it’s dying!
But I still loved it all the same! The fish are absolutely stunning here, and they’re so curious, they swim right up to you to have a look, it’s insane! They’re close enough that I could touch them, but they swim away as soon as I move towards them of course.
There was a school of baby fish swimming near me at one point and as I followed them they all swam away and changed directions at the same time, it was so cool! I just had Finding Nemo in my head the whole time and was waiting for them all to turn around and start making shapes at me, hahaha!
There are so many different coloured fish! There were these gorgeous tiny little ones that were bright purple with yellow stripes! Those ones were so cute, I swam up to them and they turned around and looked right right at me! I can’t get over how inquisitive they all are!
And there was still some small parts of the coral that were colourful, there was tiny little pieces that look a bit like a tree and they were a pinky – purple colour!

Being under the water and swimming around with the fish is such a cool opportunity and although I can do it at home whenever I want, it’s really something you only think of doing when you’re on holidays, for me anyway, oh and probably the fact that I don’t actually have a set of goggles and snorkels yet either lol.

But for me whenever I’m in the ocean, I’m reminded of just how small we are as humans. We think that the earth is ours, ready for the taking to do whatever we like with it, but without the ocean there would be a lot of things wrong with this world. And without all the creatures in it, it just wouldn’t work. .
I’m always careful to make sure I don’t touch too much when I’m snorkelling, and I’m always gentle as well, we need to remember that although these things are interesting to us, they’re still a home for these creatures in the ocean!
Anyway, back to my holiday! Haha.

The water is so warm, it’s almost like a baby’s bath, the perfect temperature to swim for hours and not get cold! I love it! And still cool enough to be refreshing when it’s so hot.

After snorkelling we went fishing, the fishing was the best part for me, it was so amazing, it would have been around 5.30-6 by the time we finished snorkelling and left to go fishing, so the sun was just starting to set. Once we got to the fishing spot Tino anchored up.
Want to know how we did that?
They have a huge roll of fishing line, one of the strongest ones you can get, with a piece of coral attached at the end, we then slowly drove the boat right up to part of the reef, Tino threw the piece of coral he had out and then we reversed until it hooked in, then he tied it off to the boat!
A piece of coral and a fishing line and we’re anchored up for the night….

Once we were set, Tino always gets my line ready first, no more than 5 minutes of having my line out, I got a fish and it was a type of breame. I pulled in 3 fish all before Tino even got his line out, it was awesome! But then that’s where it stopped. Once Tino got his line out he took all the fish. I pulled my line up three different times and still had the same bate and not even a nibble taken out of it!! Tino pulled in about 5 fish and then it slowed right down.
It was dark by this time and usually when I’m fishing and not catching anything I get sooo bored, but not this time.
This part of the world is absolutely stunning, the amount of stars you can see in the sky is unbelievable, there’s really bright ones and then there’s all these tiny little ones, there’s shapes everywhere, it’s like someone has thrown a bucket of glitter into the sky and is shining a huge spotlight so it all sparkles, it’s so pretty. Then once your neck gets sore from looking up, all you have to do is look down and you’ll see even more beauty. I saw things I’ve never experienced before. I’ve only ever heard of on documentaries and read at school in text books about this.
I was sitting in the boat, looking down at the water and there is all of these glowing speckles throughout the water, as though the stars have fallen from the sky and are in the ocean now. They were surrounding the boat, wherever the water was breaking, there were these little glowing spots. Then, if that wasn’t enough, whilst you’re looking at these spots, down a little deeper you can see the silver of the fish swimming past! Every few seconds there is a flash of silver, some really big and some only small.
All of a sudden Tino hooked a fish and as he was pulling it in he could see a shark chasing it! He was pulling it in so quickly, and then all of a sudden he stopped and I thought he lost the fish but then there were was a huge splash at my side of the boat, I jumped sky high and as I looked I saw the tail of the shark splash back in to the water, it scared the absolute day lights out of me, as I jumped I moved to the middle of the boat and then I looked up and Tino had his fish in his hands. It was a small breame and it had big teeth marks on both sides of his body, he must have only just slipped away. I couldn’t believe how close the shark was to the boat when it splashed, only a meter or so away!
Once my adrenaline slowed back down I started watching the water again and there were so many flashes of silver, I said to Tino at one point that the fish weren’t biting anymore, there must be sharks down there scaring them all away and it was only a few minutes after I said that, that he hooked that fish and pulled it up with the shark chasing it!
So after about another half an hour we decided to go home, neither of us had had a bite for about 40 minutes and it was almost pitch black by now so it was time to go.
We had to take it really easy on the way home and use some serious team work to make it back safely. There are two huge areas of reef before we get home, where the water gets shallow and depending on the tide, it can get so shallow that your boat can get stuck or damaged so we had to be careful and on the look out. I was sitting up on the front seat, eyes peeled searching the water for any signs of different colours that might show the water getting shallow.
Once it starts to get shallow, I call out to Tino and he slows the boat right down and gets ready to turn the engine off as soon as I yell out to him.
As I start to see it get more shallow, I have to stand up to be able to see right in front of the boat so I can tell him with enough time before it reaches the back of the boat.
I missed the first one, because I wasn’t standing up, so the boat scraped but he got the motor up just in time! This part was really really shallow, the boat kept scraping and he had to use the spear in the boat to push us off, thankfully the water was nice and calm so we didn’t have to worry about any waves. Once we got off the first part of the reef, I was more careful this time, while I was standing up though, the whole time there was still all of these glowing spots being created by the broken water from the boat, and while I was standing and looking out the front there must have been some sort of flying fish skimming across the water in front of us because I could see all of these little lines of the glowing spots, racing around, slipping from left to right, and then still seeing all of the flashes of silver down deeper. It was the most interesting experience of my time here so far! And I can’t wait to go out at night time again!!

Tino and I used team work like never before on the way home. He knew whenever I stood up that it was starting to get shallow, and then he’d wait for me to call out to lift the motor, we’d let the boat drift over the reef and then make our way, once we got past the last part of the reef we were safe to drive fast until we got close to home, then that’s when I have to go sit on the front of the boat to lift the motor as high as possible so it doesn’t scrape the bottom! Once we got back, I was proud to tell everyone that I caught some fish, I caught the first fish and they were the biggest ones! Tino’s Mum and Dad were both happy that I’d caught some fish too. It was great!
I’m soo looking forward to going out and doing it again!

Reflecting. . .

Sitting here tonight thinking about my life, where I am now, where I’ve been and where I want to go, I’ve come to make some decisions to help me get myself and my family where we want to be.

Being on this holiday has truly strengthened mine and Tino’s relationship.
It’s funny, with everything that we’ve been through in our 3 short years together, I thought that we were the strongest of strong, and surely there wasn’t anything else that we could do together to make us even stronger, but I’ve realised that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together with a person, you are always growing together, you are always learning about each other, everything seems to be trial and error, and the things that were an error, if you’re going to grow together, need to be learned from so that next time, you know what not to do and you can find another way of handling it.

This last 5 weeks, I have learnt so much about Tino, more than I ever thought possible. I have learnt new things about him and I have had things ‘click’ and make sense about him that before I used to wonder what would make him do or say something the way he did.

And I can tell, that I have done things that surprise him as well, that he didn’t know about me, or that he did know, but didn’t appreciate in the light of Australia, the way he does in his own home.
He has said to me how happy it makes him that I get along with his family, and it makes him feel proud of them as well, that they take the time to speak in English to me, even if they don’t know the right words, they’ll try to explain it differently, or they’ll ask someone else if they know the right word, that they take the time to show me things and they want to include me in everything they do. And it makes me feel really special too, that they are willing to do this for me, for the girl who has kept their son in Australia for the last 3 years, even though they’ve asked him to come home many times. His Mum said to me though, that she counts Tino being in Australia as a blessing, although it is painful for her to be away from her son, we have now brought her their first grandson, and that is one of the greatest blessings she could ever ask for.

It’s so annoying that there’s no way of saying it without it sounding corny and super cliche, but we just keep getting stronger. We go through tough times, and there’s a few times where we’ve almost called it quits, or we just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but somehow it always shows itself, right at the last second, just when we think there’s nothing left in us, we make it.

We will always win. As long as we have each other to lift the other up, we will continue to grow and learn and win.
I have made a vow to myself to start focusing more on us and less on everyone else. Especially on those who don’t focus on us for any reason other than their own benefit.

There will be things this year that I will stop doing, and other things that I will start doing, and right now I know that the decisions I’m making, are going to make a difference. There will be some small sudden changes and some long term changes that will take time to show themselves, but once they do, we’ll see that it was all worth it…

I’m so lucky to have met Tino, to have created this amazing little human being with him and to get to see another part of the world with him, not only for a holiday, but for him to come home and be with his family again.

Tonight, I am counting my blessings.
To my surprise, I have more than I thought..

Xx

We’ve Booked our Flights!

Monday morning came and it was time to get to Virgin Samoa to book our flights home. I have been so looking forward to doing this just so we actually have a return date!
We were planning on getting a flight on Wednesday because Bernie had said this is the one that was the cheapest he could find.
So when we went into the office, we asked about flights to Sydney for this week and she said to us that there was only two flights for the week, one was for tonight (Monday night) and was going to cost around $3200 in Aus money, or the other option was for next Monday the 26th.
That’s 5 days more than we were planning on staying, it’s 5 days more that I’m away from my family and friends, and once we said we’ll book that one, I got really upset, I was so looking forward to Wednesday and coming home and seeing everyone, and now I have to wait 5 more days!
But the flights are booked now, and to our surprise when she gave us the tickets, she pointed out that we are flying in business class as they were the only seats left on that flight, so lucky us get to fly home in comfort with an extra 10kg in our luggage! Woohoo! And the best part is food and drinks are included!

Now that I’ve come to terms with being here for longer than expected, I am totally embracing it!
I am enjoying all the resting time I’m getting whether it’s because Kovati is being looked after, or it’s just a hot day and we’re all too hot to do anything, I am making sure I appreciate the restful moments.
Then when we’re out and about I’m taking in everything around me, I’m taking lots of photos and have actually started to recognise a few roads here and there as well which is nice.

We spent this morning (Tuesday) looking for some material to make a matching outfit for Tino, Kovati and I. We get to go pick that up on either Saturday or Sunday, so that’s exciting! Then once we found the fabric we went and had a walk around the markets and bought ourselves a few souvenirs to bring home.
There is soooo much awesome stuff, but a lot of it is made from wood, so I’m a little hesitant to buy a lot of the things I like in case we aren’t allowed to bring it through customs, but we’ll see how we go.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) Bernie has the day off again and has said he’s going to take us all around the island and hopefully back to the falls so I can’t wait for that!! I’ll get back to you all with the details in my next one 🙂

Two Days in Samoa

This place is so pretty. I didn’t get to see much when we came here to get to Tokelau because we only stayed one night, but today is my second day and we’ve still got two or three more days to go! 

Yesterday (Saturday) when we first got here we were mostly resting and getting our things unpacked. We went to the market and a grocery store to get some food and things, some to send back to Tokelau with the boat the next day and some for us. 
It’s unbelievable how expensive it is here! A 1.25litre bottle of soft drink is 9.90tala.. For one!! That’s about $4.95Aus. 
It’s pretty much double our Aus money really. Which is great for Tino and I! We’ve come with our spending money and it’s doubled! If only that happened at home, if we take 100tala it only takes $50 Aus out. How great is that!? Haha 🙂 

Anyway, we went to the markets which were all closing because it was late, but it’s huge!! So I’m very keen to come back on Monday when it’s all open, there’s HEAPS of fresh produce, but also heaps of souvenir type stalls as well. I can’t wait 🙂 

It’s very different here, on Sunday’s, everything except produce/food shops are closed, there’s nothing open, Sunday is the Church and Family day, so you can still go out and go to the beach or something, but there’s no markets or shops open anywhere.. 

Bernie who is Kovati’s (Tino’s Dad) nephew is a Policeman as well, so he’s turned up at our place on his bike, in a ute, in a Toyota Camry and a Holden Commodore. It was hilarious when he turned up in the Holden, Kovati didn’t know who it was because he couldn’t see inside, but I told him to go to the front and see, so he ran and Bernie turned the siren on for a split second and I swear I saw Kovati’s feet lift off the ground he jumped so high!! Hahaha it was the funniest thing! And then when he saw it was Uncle Bernie, he was straight up in his arms waiting to go in the car with him. 
Uncle Bernie seems to be Kovati’s favourite person, he gets very excited to see him and other than Tino, he’s the only person Kovati will actually choose to go to when I’m already holding him…

Bernie had the Saturday and Sunday off when we got here so he’s been showing us around everywhere, it’s awesome! He’s taken us for a drive around the town at night time, and it’s so pretty with all the lights everywhere, he took us to the falls, and made a few tourist stops along the way for us. 

He stopped at a waterfall so we could go and have a look. When we got out of the car and walked to the edge, it literally takes your breath away. There is an insanely massive drop to the bottom, you can’t even see the bottom unless you look out to the middle of the opening, and when you look across to the other side, you can see the waterfall, it is gorgeous. It’s not massive in width but it’s absolutely huge in the length, like I said you can’t see the bottom, when you follow the water all the way down, you can’t see where it lands, there’s so many trees and plants everywhere, it covers it all, but it’s surreal looking at it. Bernie said there are two cars in there, one was a suicide and the other a car accident. You don’t even need to ask if anyone survived or not, because it just wouldn’t be possible to survive a drop like that. 

After we all had taken enough photo’s we jumped back in the truck and he took us to the falls where you can go swimming. 
Wow, are these pretty! And everyone jumps from them! 
There was a lot of people there when we went on Sunday though so I didn’t jump off it, but Tino had a go from the highest one and it looked soo fun! I can’t wait to hopefully go back there and fingers crossed there isn’t so many people and I’ll have a go! The water was icy cold to start with, but once you get in it’s perfect, so refreshing and nice fresh water too, so no salty taste or sting in your eyes. 

The same thing happens when you’re at the beach though, you get nice and cool in the water and then there’s a big trek back to the car that makes you all hot and sweaty again! But it was still refreshing anyway. 

I’m really keen to get to a beach before we leave, but I think the waterfall will still be my favourite.. 🙂 

Saying Goodbye to Tokelau

We’re in Samoa now and I’ve finally found time to write this one!
This ship trip was very different to the first one, much faster and Kovati didn’t get sea sick so it was much more bearable! It’s Tino, Kovati, Pele, Peta and I on this trip, Kovati (Tino’s Dad) stayed back in the island to work because they’ve run out of sick leave.

To be completely honest, this was the hardest most emotional goodbye I’ve ever had to say. Saying goodbye to my own family is always hard, but we always have a return date, we always have some sort of time frame to be able to deal with the distance better, but this time, after spending 4 full weeks with Tino’s family and the people in the island, I made some great relationships with a couple of his Aunty’s and especially Kena and Peta. Thankfully Peta is coming with us so I didn’t have to say goodbye to her yet, but saying goodbye to Kena and Aunty Hina was so hard, they are such beautiful people and to think that we have no idea how long it will be until we see them again is really upsetting. Even now while I’m writing this I’m getting emotional again..

Usually when I say goodbye to people I don’t really get emotional, or if I do, it’s later on when I’m by myself and having a moment. But I couldn’t hold it in yesterday, I gave Kena a kiss and a hug and felt the lump in my throat straight away, I quickly got on the boat that takes us to the ship and was telling myself to stop being so silly but then I heard Aunty Hina call out my name and I realised I didn’t even get to give her a hug, so that was it, the water works spilled over the edge and I was a slight mess. At that I saw Kena and she was already crying and Aunty Hina started as well. It was all very emotional.

I never thought it possible to love another family who’s not your own so much, but Tino’s family is my family and I know that now even more after having been able to spend this time with them in their own home, doing what they know and love and teaching me all about it.

I’m so grateful to have had this opportunity and I can’t wait until we get to come back and see everyone again!!

One of the Funnest Things I’ve Ever Done!

Flying fish fishing! 
Nope I didn’t misspell fly fishing, we went flying fish fishing..it was awesome!!! 

On our last night in Tokelau, Tino and his Dad were going fishing for flying fish so I asked if I could come, not really expecting anything different to your ordinary fishing..
Well, was I wrong! This is awesome, it’s like you’re racing the fish! 

There is one person driving which was Tino and then the other person is standing up the front of the boat with a spotlight helmet and a fishing net pole, directing the driver in every which direction to chase the fish. 
This is only done at night time as well, because the flying fish are too hard to see during the day and also because apparently flying fish are blind at night time, so we have an advantage over them. 

So I was sitting next to Tino being a well behaved passenger, when we got to the spot where they started fishing and wow did it start! 
We travel along at an average speed, then if Kovati (Don’t forget it’s Tino’s Dad I’m talking about in this one) spotted a fish, he pointed in the direction we needed to go, then Tino stepped on the gas, or more realistically, turned the handle and used more petrol, but whichever way you want to say it, we went faster, and as soon as we were close enough, Kovati shoved the pole into the water and scooped the fish up! It was very rare that he missed, but if he did, the chase was even more fun, because then we were still going fast but we had to follow the fish! 
Sometimes he would get two or three in the net at once. 
Most of the time we all spotted the fish at the same time, so that makes it a bit easier on Kovati, he knows he can trust Tino’s judgement and unless he sees a better fish, if Tino speeds up, Kovati gets ready and scoops the fish up as soon as he sees it… 

But if all of this isn’t exciting enough for you, THERE’S SHARKS AS WELL!!! 

OMG I was SO excited when Kovati pointed out the first one! He kept his spotlight down on the water and called out to me and pointed and when I looked it was a shark!!! 
They’re the black tip reef sharks, but there was heaps that were still quite large! 
But oh geez did that get the adrenaline going, because not only were they just swimming around absolutely everywhere, they were also hunting the flying fish! 
So there was so many times when it was a race against a shark to get to the fish first!! It was awesome! 
There was a couple of times where the shark won, but that was still awesome for me because I saw the shark catch the fish!! 

There was a few times where the sharks swam right up to my side of the boat, if I put my hand in the water I would have been able to touch it. It was insane! Honesty one of the funnest most exciting things I’ve ever done! 
I actually couldn’t contain my excitement while I was in the boat! 

There was two times as well, where I had to completely duck out of the way because the flying fish flew right at me!! It was hilarious! I can’t wait to get to do it again! 

Then on the way home, Tino had his turn as we were heading back in and surprise surprise he was a natural! Gosh it gets annoying sometimes when he’s just good at everything! Lol… But he spotted a turtle for me!! It’s all I wanted to see the whole time and I still hadn’t spotted one yet, then our last night I saw one, he was drifting down into the water ever so gracefully… 

When I was growing up Dolphins were always my favourite sea creature, they’re definitely still one of them, but turtles are definitely my number one these days, they have been for quite a while now and when Tino spotted that one I was so happy and excited that I finally saw one and just in time before we left the island!